Learn this one skill that can change your life today!

Though there are many skills that needs to be mastered at work and life, the one which stands out according to me and which can really change your life is the skill of “managing your ego”

Why it is very important?

1. At your workplace, your ego over your boss or co-worker can ruin your career as you will never be in a position to either overlook their mistakes or listen to their criticism/feedback that would help you to improve and become better everyday. After all, who cares about “your ego” as all that matters is how flexible and adaptable you are to get the job done
2. At your home, your ego over your spouse can lead to lot of unnecessary arguments and in the end will make your day miserable
3. At the road, your ego over another motorist will make you lose your driving focus and end up doing stupid mistakes while the other person remains unaffected
4. At the shopping mall, your ego over the sales person will ruin his mood and you will lose out on getting the best deal
5. In the social media, your ego over another person will lead to heated exchanges and in the end will spoil your brand image
6. Your ego over an interviewer will make you to lose out on a good job offer
7. Your ego over your maid or servant will provoke them to turn up against you and spill all your secret beans to others, you want that?

The list is endless and situations can be drawn from every area of your life where uncontrolled ego can lead you into serious trouble, and thus learn to manage your ego to change your life.

Some golden rules that I learnt late in my life

1. You may have worked for years and could have got a big fat salary every month, but if you have not done proper investments or handled your money properly , you will end up having nothing in your bank account. This will put you in such a miserable position that you will like to kill yourself for committing such a blunder. At the end of the day, people care a damn about you or your glorious career if you don’t have a hefty bank balance; so earning well doesn’t make you rich but learning how to spend and invest money wisely will.
2. Every individual have their own preferences and liking. This includes your parents, spouse, partner, kids or friends and you “must” let them live their own life and not impose yourself on them.
3. Lust drains your energy and makes you feel miserable aftermath
4. Life is very short and unpredictable filled with many unexpected twists and turns. Take everything as it comes without brooding too much about the outcomes.
5. Don’t let your “secrets” or “personal stuff” out to anyone when you are stricken by self pity. You will lose respect.
6. Good looking individuals are always preferred, so dress well and look smart
7. Spending time with your loved ones give you the utmost satisfaction than anything else
8. “Hard work” is the best intoxicant to stimulate your senses
9. If you are on a 9 to 5 job, you will never be able to afford certain things in life and they will only remain in your dreams
10. 9 out of 10 times, you reflect and feel sorry for those terrible outbursts on others when you were angry and upset. Remain calm and never open your mouth when you are angry

When life becomes a grind!

I don’t like a boring life and for that matter anyone does. How it feels to do the same things again and again? The same car to drive, the same route to travel, the same set of things to work upon at the job…the list is endless. There is a tipping point where life seems to come to a grinding halt. Have you seen those big machines start giving out some screeching sounds and eventually come to a grinding halt? Folks, if you treat your life like a machine, you need to expect that screeching sound sooner or later before it ultimately breaks down.

Everyday, we get up, pack our bags and run to work only to return back in the evening, browse a bit and hit the bed in anticipation of sleeping off soon. From the top most executive to a bottom level worker, the pattern of life is almost similar except for the expectations and desires. You know what? the more options you have, it brings more headache! You consider a beggar on the street; he wakes up, gets to a place where he can attract the crowd and boom…he gets on with his business. Some good food to eat and a better place to spend the night is all he would think about day after day as he has to fight for it.

Now, consider your life. How is it going? Is it boring and are you frustrated? How many times you have tried out different things only to hit the same spot again and again? You think you are weird? Whats happening to you?

If you get a chance, You can ask the richest person in the world about his state of affairs, he will have a similar story to tell; one that would contain frustrations of certain unfulfilled expectations and desires.

There are lot of expectations and desires inside us and as time passes by, they turn into sources of frustration. You expect someone to help you with something and when it didn’t happen as expected, you are depressed. Now, the source of your depression is the expectation that you first created.

It is better to live without any expectations in this world, be it from anyone. It may be your spouse, siblings, parents or children, you should not have much expectation that they will be with you in everything. You should be ready to face lot of disappointments in life. This is the reality.

When someone says that they don’t have any disappointments or setbacks in life, we can be sure that it is far from being true.

People forget your goodness very soon

Captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger lands the damaged plane on Hudson river, miraculously saving all the 155 lives on board. He is charged for not landing on LaGuardia or Teterboro and for ‘risking’ the lives of the passengers and damaging the airplane.

He says, “42 years of successful landings, and they would still judge me for those 208 seconds.”

Did you catch it, yet?

Imagine he worked 5 days a week, 1 flight every day, and exclude the Christmas holidays too.

Number of successful landings = (5/7)*42*365*(11/12) = 10,037 flights
Number of passengers landed = 150*10,037 = 15,05,625

Before he was acquitted, they blamed him for those 208 stressful seconds where his reaction time was 35 seconds, and nobody actually gave a damn about his past record of landing more than 1.5 Million people safely. Even though, after landing, all he cared for was the count of “155”.

And here you have a very very harsh lesson to learn.

You can do 99 things for someone and all they’ll remember is the one thing you didn’t do.

Most people forget all the good that you did, and in the end only judge you for the bad, or rather what they perceive to be bad. Nobody cares about the good intent behind your actions. All they see is the final output. Simply because it’s easy to overlook the good, and remember the bad.

After a while, most people don’t give a damn about how much you have helped them. They take you for granted, because hey, you were just performing your duty or friendship. Just one bad thing, and they are all against you.

In personal life, be helpful without expecting too much from anyone. It’ll hurt you less. And if you are compromising on your comfort for helping anyone who isn’t worth it, then it’s time to think through and make a wise choice before it’s too late.

25 psychological hacks that may surprise you

1. People are happier when they’re kept busy. It keeps them feeling positive.

2. Happiness, anger, sadness, fear, disgust, and surprise are the only six emotions that are universally expressed.

3. Chocolate discharges the same chemical in your body as when you feel love.

4. People are more honest when they’re tired.

5. A 20 second hug releases chemicals in the body that help you trust the one you’re hugging.

6. Studies suggest that losing your phone triggers the same panic as a near death experience.

7. You’re more logical when you think in another language.

8. No blind person has ever developed schizophrenia.

9. High school kids have the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient in the 1950’s.

10. The brain feels rejection as pain.

11. Your mind wanders about 30% of the time.

12. Your most vivid memories are probably wrong.

13. Even the illusion of progress motivates us.

14. Internet addiction may be added to the list of mental disorders.

15. You can’t multi-task.

16. Your unconscious mind knows first.

17. We’re only capable of being close with about 150 people.

18. When you remember a past event, you’re remembering the last time you remembered it.

19. Small chunks of material are easier to remember.

20. Memories get distorted over time, and every human has at least one piece of false memory.

21. People with low self esteem are often bullies.

22. 80% of conversations are complaining.

23. People who volunteer are more satisfied with their lives.

24. Your brain is more creative when it’s tired.

25. Relationships are more important for your health than exercise

You want to be successful? Try these few things

1. Never Whine about anything in life – Your life will never be rosy all the time. You will have to face some challenging situations and flutter through them at some point of time. Successful people have learnt to take discomfort on their stride and they never wine and complain about. You will not hear phrases like “Why all these things are happening to me?”, “Why is life boring?” etc. They are highly balanced in handling both pleasure and pain
2. Never waste your time – Learn to value your time as it is the most elusive thing in life. Things like gossiping, watching TV continuously, surfing the social media all the time are time killers for sure. If you want to be successful, you need to spend your time in areas where you want to improve.
3. Never think about money all the time – Instead, successful people think about providing value to others and in that way they make lot of money.
4. Never seek instant results – Nothing in life is achieved in the whisker of an eye. It may take months or years, but if you want to be successful, you need to be invested in your pursuit with perseverance and diligence.
5. Never assume anything – If you are not clear on something, ask for clarification. As simple as that and this is where most of us let it slip

5 things that you should never do in your life

1. Don’t give free advice to people unless you are asked to – We think that we help others by offering so much of advice and suggestions. Do you think they find them valuable? Most likely not. The reason is that people already have a thought pattern that is imbibed into them and it is very difficult to break it through your advice in a short span of time. Open your mouth for providing advice only when someone asks you for it.
2. Don’t leave your parents – One reason that you should not leave your parents alone in their old age is that they never let you away when you were a child. They brought you up in spite of so many problems and pressures in life.
3. Don’t  discuss about your past with everyone – Do you think everyone is going to be moved to help you when you share your past with them? You will make yourself highly vulnerable to be manipulated.
4. Don’t Spend Hours Surfing On Social Networks – Trust me, this habit will depress you for sure. Always remember that people are putting up their best in the social media leaving their bad and ugly stuff behind. Don’t be depressed when you see that everyone else seem to be happy in their social media posts and that you are the lone sad creep in this world.
5. Don’t  sit idle any time  – Do you know who plays around an empty mind?, “It is Mr.Devil”. Try to be occupied with some meaningful stuff all the time so that you don’t venture into vulnerable zones.

Why should you “let go” some stuff in life?

Is there times in your life where you fight to gain control in every area of your life? Do you want to have a say in every situation that you come across? You may be fighting hard to gain control over many areas of your life, starting from your job, family or even things that are very much within your limits like your spouse or kids.
My friend, I wish I had all the control over my life and especially under the areas that directly impact my life. I wish to concede the reality; it is impossible to control your own “self”, forget about controlling others and the situation around you. The sooner you learn and imbibe this amazing fact, you will chase a lot of miseries out of your life.

I must quote a few amazing lines from Khalil Gibran here

“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday”

In today’s world, we fight for control over our children, finances, the rights in our workplaces and this list is endless. But, have you ever thought that you cannot win all the battles? The desire to win and control are two major factors that ruin peace and harmony in your life. Trust me, they are venomous and could potentially hit you hard in every area of your life.
In simple terms, I suggest you to learn to “let go” on things that are hurting you and killing your joy. It could be anything starting from forgiving someone who has hurt you badly or giving up a bit of control on your spouse and letting them do a few things on their own terms. It may even mean that you may have to reduce that overly possessive feeling that you have on your kid. It could be anything that is binding you, I encourage you to just “let it go”.
Whatever should come your way will definitely be yours at the right time. Don’t go crazy over stuff that are pretty ordinary and lose your focus. Instead, focus on what you can contribute to the world with your life. Work tirelessly on your passions and goals. Let all your energy be channelized towards accomplishing something big in life and make the world admire you.
One of the finest quotes that I have come across says “One of the simplest ways to be happy is letting go of the things that makes you sad”. How true it is? Why should you let someone rob your happiness? Why should you lose your composure for someone else’s stupidity?
Life is a marathon and you need lot of persistence and perseverance to run it. There will be places where you would feel bruised and weary, but you should never fall down. Those weaker moments come to remind you that your journey is not over and the destination is very much at sight, kick on, break free, re-focus and set to conquer the world. Friend, why don’t you learn to “let go”, be it anything that holds you today!

How to live when the going gets tough?

Life is very interesting and has lot of surprises in store for us, either in a positive or negative way. People whom you trust will let you down and you get support and motivation from unknown and unexpected sources. Have you ever realized it? The plain matter of fact is that almost everyone is interested in their own happiness and well being and you are always secondary. It is very bitter to accept this fact but if you do, you will save yourselves from lot of disappointments.

If you are going through some of the worst moments in your life, and there is nobody to genuinely love you and care for you, then it is time to buckle up and face the challenge rather than bowing down to fate. It is said that if you rise up and stand tall in front of a bear, it will back off, on the other hand, if you run away, it will chase you down. The same holds good with the challenges in our lives too. Be bold and ready to face the difficulties that come your way.

Another painful factor is people won’t realize your goodness as they always look at you with their own perception and prejudices. You may want to genuinely help somebody but end up getting embarassed by their action. Folks, all these happen in life and it is quite normal.

The best thing to do during your worst situation is to put up your best show. Yes, I mean it! I have seen people adapting to a healthier lifestyle including rigorous exercise routines during these times. This will toughen you up and give you lot of courage to face anything. Never let the circumstances get you into a self pity mode where you end up eating a lot and going out of shape. This will complicate your situation further.

The next thing you can do is work on your hobbies and showcase your talents to the world. There are so many people out there in the world who may share your same passion and are willing to connect and work together. It may be painting, writing or anything that you are good at, never be afraid to give it a shot.

You can also capture your thoughts and feelings in a diary during your tough times as these will remind you later on the path you had traveled in life. Life is not easy and it has lot of ups and downs, but you learn something from each situation in your life.

You need to get out of your comfort zone if you really want to enjoy life to the fullest extent. If you remain inside your own shell, then it is very difficult to comprehend the real situations and happenings in life. Those who conquer the world are the ones who have the boldness and courage to step out of their comfort zone into the unexplored terrains of life. If life seems boring and disgusting, stand up, buckle up and get ready to fight the battle. It is you who can change your life and the opportunity to do it is now!

 

Never desire more than what you want

A man who got rich too quickly decided to splurge on it. He built a nice house, purchased couple of high end cars and on top of it wanted to become very influential in the neighbourhood. He started having connection with local politicialns and other prominent people in the locality. As he had money, getting a few accomplices was never a problem for him.

One water connection per house is the norm of the government and everyone is expected to abide by it, barring the rich and powerful, it seems. This man had water scarcity in his house just like everybody else in the locality. While others chose to overcome it by purchasing water from private players, he decided to use his influece to get a couple of more illegal water connections and by hook and crook, he got it done. Now, his water problem was solved and plenty of water gushed into his storage tank.

As days progressed, the supply of water was more than the usage and it started to spill over from the tank into the roads and it was painful to see drinking water flooding the street and the man never bothered about it. This happens even till this day and when millions of people around the world are struggling for a drop of water to quench their thirst,  this kind of selfish acts by the rich and influential really makes you feel sad and lose respect and confidence in the government and administration. Will these people ever think about it? Is there an iota of humanity left when you are mad on money? Only, time will answer

Folks, anything that you have more than what is needed will go down the drain. It could be your money, possessions or status. Let us keep everything under check and be within our limits. Let us not be greedy and make the poor and needy to suffer. We learnt in the hard way during Chennai floods that we should never take anything for granted and money and fame would be the last thing you desire during a disaster. All those realizations have gone away now and we are back to our own “Self” which is “Me, My family and My life”. Can we have a change in our mindset and thinking?